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 would you call CAS??

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mcpug
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PostSubject: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 2:02 pm

I have NEVER called CAS on someone before but I am strongly thinking about it

Let me tell the story in point form so I don't get carried away....

- About 8 months ago a new neighbor moved in next store, the two houses to the left of min are both rentals owned by the same person.

- They very much keep to themselves and we really don't have any contact with them

- its a couple with a 2 year old girl, they both also have older children who visit every other weekend.

- The 2 year old has escaped the house at least 4 times, twice she knocked on my door asking for her mother, once she was across the street and an elderly neighbor brought her to our door because he didn't know who she was... Twice she got out at 10pm or later and she is always either naked or only in a diaper.

- She is always outside alone, again either naked or in a diaper. I have seen her standing on their shed, on their air conditioner, screaming to get inside and nobody comes to the door ect ect. The yard is fenced so she can't get out but she is out there for hours and hours with nobody else in sight.

- They just got a dog 2 weeks ago off kijiji (a big black dog not sure what it is) ,I had a brief conversation with her about it because she asked to borrow a leash, she told me the dog was an X service dog...... well yesterday the little girl was at the fence with my kids (my kids were blowing bubbles to her through the fence) my husband reached over the fence to pet the dog and it bit him (not hard but he pulled away and it got his pinky finger).

- So now this little girl is alone in the backyard with this dog all the time and it makes me SO nervous, just now she had this giant ball and kept hitting the dog with it, the dog kept moving away, but she kept on going. No supervision what so ever.

Should I call?
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Boston
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 2:08 pm

Yes, I would call.

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RedyreRotties
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 2:23 pm

Please call. Soon.
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Snitty
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 2:49 pm

Personally I wouldn't..

A friend in London when her oldest was 2 and a half managed to get out of her apt 6-7 times, all first thing in the morning while everyone was still sleeping even after new higher locks were added to the door, once was brought home by a cop who happened to be passing by the rest of the time came next door to my apt.
It wasnt that my friend wasn't a good mom, the kid was just crafty at getting out even with the higher locks and the baby monitor on. She ended up having to put a lock on the outside of the bedroom door on the advice of the cop.

As for the hours and hours of screaming to get in...
My own kids have done that when younger.. Not non-stop of course but on and off while outside on the same day which I would go see what they wanted and if it was just to run in and out made them stay outside and play, Why didnt you go over at the time and knock at the door about her wanting in?


As for the dog, He could be perfectly fine with kids and bit your hubby because he reached into his yard and he was being protective of his yard and of the kid, which isn't a reason to call CAS

When it comes down to it, it has to be your choice to call them if you think shes being abused then call, but it could be better to just go over and talk to them first in this case.



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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 3:19 pm

A 2 year old needs constant supervision at all times. If they get up early you get up early. Alone in the backyard with a recently purchased dog. Uh NO. I'd call C.A.S. A.S.A.P.
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mcpug
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 3:22 pm

I called...

Its one thing for your kids to get out of the house its another thing for you not to notice that they have left the house.
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 3:25 pm

I'm glad you called let's hope something is done A.S.A.P.
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Snitty
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 3:29 pm

mcpug wrote:
I called...

Its one thing for your kids to get out of the house its another thing for you not to notice that they have left the house.

Well if thats what you felt needed done, glad you did it. I personally would have went over myself first.

btw my friend never knew her daughter left the house until she was brought home, thankfully the oldest is the only one out of all 5 of her kids that ever did it.

Speaking of kids.. I should find out where mine are this afternoon :lol:
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 3:46 pm

I'm not one to call and have never called CAS on anyone, but in this case I would have. The first time she got out of the house and you brought her home, should have been the first wake up call to the parents that they need to supervise her better. That means installing locks on the top part of the door where the child cannot reach to unlatch, even if standing on a chair.

But the straw that would have broken the camels back would be the fact that the child was outside unsupervised with the dog. Not just any dog, a dog that was not raised with her from a puppy. Every parent things nothing will happen when the family dog is unsupervised with the children, until something serious happens and by then what's happened has already happened.
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 5:43 pm

I think I would have gone to the parents first and gauged their reaction to me bringing the child home. If they seemed flippant, absolutely I would call CAS. I think sometimes, children are great escape artists and the parents are just so exhausted that they aren't always on their toes. My niece at the age of 6 was confined to her room for a time out. 15 minutes later she was knocking on the front door as she cut her bedroom screen and climbed out her window. This window was easily 4 feet of the floor and closer to 8 off the ground outside. My sister had no clue but I don't think it made her a bad mom for not noticing, after all, who would have thought a kid would be that crafty... And yes, this child has only gotten more so in later years. I love her.

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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 5:55 pm

I probably would have confronted them before I called but if you have brought her home before I can understand your frustration.

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mcpug
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 5:56 pm

The 3 times I did bring her home it took forever for someone to even answer the door.....

and like I said she was naked 2 out of the 4 times.
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 5:58 pm

Okay, note to self...read it fresh before you reply!!

I think you did the right thing then, dunno how you can not know something is not right. If I am near kids and they get too quiet I know it is usually not a good thing!

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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Thu 22 Jul 2010, 6:59 pm

I would have called. My son gets out of the house all the time but we are quick to realize "uh where did Dominik go?" and he isn't outside long but if she is outside for hours at a time by herself? Uh yea anything can happen to the poor thing. And who knows if the even supervise her inside the home.
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 7:52 am

I too think you did the right thing but just wanted to mention one thing. When my daughter (worst one out of 3 LOL ) was two years old it was like pulling teeth to keep clothes on her LOL ... she'd go to daycare and the minute we got home 'off went her clothes' LOL .... to this day socks and underware are still a battle to make her wear and she's 16 now LMAO she HATES wearing socks and you have no idea how many pairs she has 'conveinently THROWN away while at School,trips I dunno but grrr LOL I just thought it worthy of mention LOL
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 9:09 am

I too probably would have called,we know there are 2 sides to every story and I am hoping some intervention will give the parents the help they need to better parent the child, I would rather be safe than sorry later

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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 9:37 am

Keep us updated.
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rottnmom
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 10:05 am

mcpug, I'm also one that would be hesitant to call CAS without having a good solid reason. Reading your post was like watching red light after red light going on. Any one of those by themselves, we've all seen or experienced without it being an 'issue'.........but for a two year old to be in all those situations repeatedly is cause for alarm. As a parent you know you will have those 'blips' and when they happen you do your best to see they don't again. To let a child be exposed to multiple chances for disaster........is the time when someone else needs to intervene. Kudos to you for recognizing that this is not just a 'slip' but continuous, repeated neglect of their child's welfare.

Someday that child may approach the wrong person. Should that dog decide it's had enough, turn and bite.....will they respond to the cries and knocking any faster? So many sad and frightening scenarios could come out of what you have observed. Please keep us posted and don't ever second guess that call you made.
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 10:34 am

I can't stop thinking about that little one knocking and knocking to come in Crying or Very sad
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 10:56 am

I went back and reread your post again and THIS just glared at me....

"twice she knocked on my door asking for her mother"

WTF was her MOTHER if she had to come to your house looking for her??? Evil or Very Mad
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 11:00 am

rottnmom wrote:
I went back and reread your post again and THIS just glared at me....

"twice she knocked on my door asking for her mother"

WTF was her MOTHER if she had to come to your house looking for her??? Evil or Very Mad

I think the mother is on drugs to be honest

I NEVER see the mother, in fact I can count on both hands the amount of times I have seen her since they have lived there.

I only see the older brother (who is maybe 13 or 14) and the dad who comes out to smoke and then goes back inside.

The first and only time I talked to her was when she asked to borrow the leash and she said she got the dog to "get her out of the house" but I haven't seen them walk it yet
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 11:08 am

You know, I wouldn't assume drugs, at least the illegal kind. They got a dog to "get her out of the house", they have a two year old child - could be a kick-tush form of post-partum.

Regardless, obviously they need a little help. CAS isn't all about breaking up families, they'll usually start by assessing their needs and trying to get them in touch with the services they need to get back on track.
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 11:16 am

Social services can offer them many aids to help them,I think UM said it well

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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Fri 23 Jul 2010, 11:50 am

UnhingedMom wrote:
You know, I wouldn't assume drugs, at least the illegal kind. They got a dog to "get her out of the house", they have a two year old child - could be a kick-tush form of post-partum.


This. Sad
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PostSubject: Re: would you call CAS??   Sat 24 Jul 2010, 1:01 am

mcpug wrote:


she is out there for hours and hours with nobody else in sight.


Should I call?

Oh yah -you did the right thing mcpug, no question about it. I would have called sooner, and I would feel good that I called, nothing to feel guilty about. You did a great thing. My kids have never been left alone for five minutes when they are awake - it is absolute reckless neglect to put a 2 year old outside by herself for hours - sick. It actually makes me angry, sad and quite upset to read this.

Please keep an eye on this family. God knows what else is going on.
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