Your key to funny stuff!

Wow you sure been busy today!! See what happens when you get up so early!!

ivegotfleas1 wrote:

this is the all time best Fleas,made me LMAO Thanks

Things I learned from my children....

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

A 4 years olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing underwear and a superman cape

It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room

Baseballs make marks on ceilings

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan

When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'Uh-oh', it's already too late

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old

Duplos will not

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

Super glue is forever

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know

Ditto Tarzan

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water

Pool filters do not like Jello

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving

You probably do not want to know what that odor is

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens

The fire department in Dallas has at least a 5 minute response time

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry

A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)

Mousey wrote:

Things I learned from my children....

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

A 4 years olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing underwear and a superman cape

It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room

Baseballs make marks on ceilings

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan

When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'Uh-oh', it's already too late

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old

Duplos will not

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

Super glue is forever

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know

Ditto Tarzan

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water

Pool filters do not like Jello

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving

You probably do not want to know what that odor is

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens

The fire department in Dallas has at least a 5 minute response time

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry

A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)

Am I the only one that wants to try this?

Let me know how that works out for you lol

It would end up in broken limbs... I can't rollerblade to save my life. Seriously, the last time I tried, my husband had to hold me.. and I gave up rather quickly due to the near falls.

You should rollerblade the cake to the wedding!

ivegotfleas1 wrote:

You should rollerblade the cake to the wedding!

I'd like to keep the money I'll be getting for the cake.. not throw it away on a smashed cake in the face.

Bullet,it takes time to learn to skate,I never did master ice skating though,don't know how you stand up on a piece of thin metal screwed to your damn shoe

Wow Yorkie, I can skate so much better than to Rollerblade, that shit is hard to do without falling. Skating comes natural