Am I out of line.....????

18 years ago my younger brother died. He belonged to a Karate Club at the time, they all went together and bought a tree and lovely plaque with his name on it In memory of.............. I've been visiting this site for all of the 18 years once a year. The tree has been cut down, because it was diseased I think. The plaque is still there but it is bordering the back of the club and a neighbour's backyard, large pine trees block the pathway to it now. I doubt if any of the same people that knew my brother still go there except for maybe the owner, I could be wrong. Anyway, I've written a letter to the club owner asking if I can have it to place in my yard in memory of my brother and the Karate Club he loved so much. His ashes were buried on his wife's family cottage over 2 hours away hence the reason I visit this one. Just wondering what others may think of this I hope I wasn't out of line, I did say I would understand if the answer was no, the letter has been mailed already and I'm hoping they agree.......... :silent:

I don't think you're at all out of line. I hope they agree too.

I don't think you are being out of line at all.

I agree, I don't think you were out of line at all.
I hope they give it to you.
I don't see why they wouldn't as it means the most to you.

I should think they would be delighted for you to have it. Maybe you could plant another tree for him.

Definitely not out of line.

So sorry for your loss. Would you like to tell us about him?

jamn I agree with the others. You are in no way out of line. The plaque and tree were planted in his memory....now that the tree is gone and the plaque near hidden, it's only right that it be moved to a place where it will once again honor him. And what more fitting place than with his family (you). I would honestly be surprised if they decline your request as it's only fitting that it receive the respect and setting that was originally intended.

Would like to see pics of it's new surroundings when you bring it home, as well as hear about the brother you so obviously loved and still do.

I can't see how they would feel it is out of line. Its a pretty simple request and if they don't want to honour it, they don't have to... so no one should get offended by it. I hope they are willing to give it to you.

I agree with the others. You are not out of line at all. I like the idea of maybe planting another tree or maybe a small garden.

I'm with the others, I don't think it's out of line. I hope they agree to give you the plaque.

He was only 35 when he died it was very sudden. Autopsy showed he had a birth defect and the blood vessel to his heart burst. He had pain in his neck and shoulder area for awhile lost a lot of weight too. One night he told his wife he was going to the doctor to finally get the pain checked out and while there started seizing in the waiting room and was flown by helicopter to hospital. He died the same night. We were all at the hospital but didn't get to see him alive again. He was my favorite brother as he accomplished a lot in his life and I was so proud of him. I really hope they agree to let me have it too. Thanks all for your replies made me feel a lot better about asking for it. Btw his wife buried his ashes beside his dog of eighteen years that my dad said he couldn't have so he slept in his car with him. :silent:

I read this earlier and thought about it for a bit and to be completly honest I'd hope the Karate club would feel honoured to assist you with that request especially after so many years and it being basically un-kempt where it is now. i've had our boys in Karate over the years and what a great bunch they all were completely about respect and honor and I'd love to see this turn into a positive for you so I hope it works out.

Oh jamn.. don't know how I missed this post ( sorry)

No you are not out of line at all.

I hope they give you this as well.

Not out of line at all,I think the club will agree

Sounds like you have a group of ladies that will petition with you should they say no LOL

jamn53,

Have you heard back from them yet?
Probably too soon?

Haven't heard anything yet.

hopefully soon

Anything yet?

No :|

I'm sorry I was hoping you would have heard back by now

We did something very similar when my baby brother died, 19 years ago. He was just turned 23 and an avid rugby player, had just won MVP at the last award banquet. We also had intent to leave his marker/headstone honorary plaque at the place he loved to attend, the rugby clubhouse. The rugby club was in the process of building a bar made of large pine logs and my family paid for the bar ($2500.00) with the understanding (written contract) that they would place his marble plaque at on end of the bar inset into the corner upper log. Gave them the plaque and 3 years later it was still in an office drawer so I went there and took it with a nasty note that I/we the family wanted refunded.

They finally got off their asses and permanently placed it with many apologies. This July 24th is the 30 year anniversary of the club, we are still involved with them as I initiated the women's rugby team and single handed then the old boys told me no (long story). I really couldn't give a rats ass about the plaque thing as I honestly believe the dead don't go very far and are always with us but it was the principal of the thing by contract. My brother and a few other deceased members will be honored at the 30 year. I really hope that you get an answer really soon and that it goes your way!!! If not assert yourself, worked for me.

I think you should go by there when they are having a meeting and talk to them personally about it.

Letters can get lost, mis placed, etc. Talking to them about it face to face, I bet they immediately tell you you can do whatever you like with it, and I bet they help you move it if they need to.

Go see them.

good idea Red

I'm going to send an e-mail to the club. It has changed owners since he died, I will try to e-mail the original owner, as I sent the letter to the now owner.
It's too far away and the club is only open weeknights, as far as his website says.

surely someone will respond one way or the other Jamn,I hope it goes in your favor