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 What would you do? Job question.

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Amomma
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PostSubject: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 12:28 am

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Last edited by Amomma on Tue 02 Oct 2012, 12:22 am; edited 1 time in total
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pooperscooper
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 12:33 am

From my experience I would say leave it alone. My Mom was a workaholic/still is and although she bought us everything we wanted she held work as top priority and we rarely saw her when I was young. JMO.
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rottnmom
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 6:22 am

Amomma, I won't attempt to give you any advice on this but will tell you about us. When we had our first we lived in an area where everyone family was a working couple, mostly professional. We watched kids raised by babysitters, parents exhausted from long, stressful days and families that were so disconnected it was sad. We vowed that no matter what, one of us would be home with our children. Instead of returning to work, I took in children when my son was three months old. After that, hubby lost his job so I returned to work. He found work and I found out I was pregnant. After child No.2 we were trying to save for another house so I returned to work on limited hours. Hubby was again out of work, so I went full time. Skipping all the rest of the years, I'll just say we juggled to keep one of us home. Four kids later, a hubby who became a full time Mr. Mom I have had all of our adult 'kids' bring up to me that they were glad we did what we did, even though it meant doing without and them not getting to have or do the things most of their friends did. They all feel it made them appreciate what they had and what they have and get now on their own, as well as the fact that we too sacrificed a lot in order for there to always be someone there for them.

I honestly feel there is no way in hell, watching couples work and juggle full time and often high stress jobs that they can be the people and parents they and their children want and need.
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rottnmom
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 6:31 am

Just have to add........the first of our children to ever set foot inside a McDonald's was our oldest......at the age of twelve on an outing with his Boy Scout troop. Didn't hurt him a bit, he's now a very personally happy and secure chemical processing engineer.
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Amomma
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 8:01 am

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Last edited by Amomma on Tue 02 Oct 2012, 12:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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rottnmom
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 9:06 am

Well if it's the kids education you're worried about there's always scholarships Smile Two of my four went to university, both were covered by full scholarship throughout their bachelor's and master's degrees. Oldest son did five years (threw in the first part of his engineering degree plus something to do with math :roll: ) for his bach. then received another full one + living expenses to complete his master's. He then moved to BC to take the last of his engineering and only required loans for that 3 yr period. If he'd gone directly to his engineering it would have been fully paid for instead of his masters. The oldest daughter did the same and received the same engineering scholarship......it allowed them both to concentrate fully on their studies without having to worry about working on the side, as we have never been in the position to help a great deal.

And both have attributed their ability to earn those scholarships because of the work ethic and 'dig in, do it and learn to do without some of it' mentality they had grown up with.

Many people are able to accomplish that delicate balance between work, home and family. We didn't know if we could and neither of us wanted to chance it. Worked well for us according to the kids...........but you know your family and your capabilities and you're already thinking about what benefits and effects it will have. I'd say either way, you're headed on the right path. Very Happy
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BigBrownEyes29
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 9:10 am

With young children, I wouldn't go for it if you have a spouse that helps to bring in an income. If you were a single mom and your income was the only income coming into the home, and you really needed the money then my answer would be different.
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rottnmom
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Thu 08 Jul 2010, 10:29 am

Amomma, is hubby willing and ready to jump in to the extra household and child care (don't like that term when it relates to parents, but you know what I mean) to offset the extra time and stress you will be subjected to if you take on this new position? IF he's willing to up his side to balance what you may have to set on the backburner then it will likely work out fine. If you are expected to gear it up several notches and try to do all you do now then I would seriously consider passing on it. Even though it is a great opportunity financially, both now and for the future........just make sure you weigh the pros and cons. To me, your sanity and your children's stability and security (not talking finances here) are paramount compared to what $$ can bring.

Again, remember this is coming from someone who, with hubby, made the conscious choice to always have one parent at home all or most of the time regardless of what we did without. Others can give their perspective as well, from their personal experience.

I'm sure you both will be able to decide what's best for YOUR family and be happy with your choice.
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Tue 13 Jul 2010, 1:54 am

This is a tough one...

I won't tell you what to do. But I made alot of money 3 years ago. Had a job and I was climbing the corporate ladder. I was the bread earner in our relationship.

But I was working too many hours. Bringing the work home. At the same time we were heavy into rescuing. So I was burning the candle at both ends. I was burning out and in the long run my family was sufferring. It was enough that one member of this household can not put his family before his country. I didn't want my kids to suffer. I had to do a priority check and remind myself what was more important to me. What would make me happier in the long run. I quit my job. Walked away from alot of money. For 3 years this July. I have stayed home with the kids. Recently, took a casual position where I only take shifts when my hubby is off. I don't even make a 1/3 of what I used to make. But for the first time in my life. I am fullfilled. It is really hard to explain. I have found something that I was ment to do.. well minus the vet part. Even when I decided on the college I was going to go to complete my trainning. I wanted a place that would be flexiable to what my family needs. I found that place.. applied and was accepted on my conditions that I needed.

After graduation, I still have dreams to keep climbing but they will be slow. As my priorites will always be in check in my circumstances. I don't think I will take aline. I will for the most part stay on a casual basis and work around my children and my hubby. But I am truely happy in all aspects of my life now. I may have a tiny little house. I may buy things 2nd hand( minus the trailer)But for once I can look in the mirror and realize success doesn't mean how powerful a position you hold. But we make it. We don't do vacations. But my kids are not without. They may not have fancy this and fancy that. But I give them the best of all the worlds and I teach them that hard work is what matters.

As for college and university. I have been to both. I have watched friends who's parents paid for their education.. squander it all away cause it didn't mean anything to them. I will follow what my family did for me. They will help me but I would have to earn and work for my education.

I don't know, you need to look at your life. Money is not everything and it sure doesn't buy true happiness
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Amomma
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PostSubject: Re: What would you do? Job question.   Tue 13 Jul 2010, 11:51 pm

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